Why did I do a natural birth?

I've been asked this alot....And reminded way to often that there are NO MEDALS for SUFFERING.  This is kind of tiresome but I'll make a list to highlight my feelings. 

It all started when I was reading about breastfeeding.  I'm a bookish nerd.  I want to read all about topics over which I have no control (natural birth, breastfeeding, babies in general) and think that therefore I will be prepared to make things work a certain way.  This usually backfires but it's my way.  I was reading about breastfeeding.  And I read that babies who are born to epidural swilling moms are drowsy and can't nurse well and that your milk takes longer to come in which also interferes with getting off to a good nursing start.  Says LLL. 

My mom did lamaze and despite being crazy and having no pain tolerance in real life (stubbing her toe IS a major medical catastrophe), she did 2 natural births.  So I thought about it.  I was scared to death but if crazy-lady can do it, why can't I?  Plus, I've had period cramps my whole life that have actually made me pass out from the pain on several occasions.  So I know I can take alot.  I began learning everything I could about natural birth.  I watched things like The Business of Being Born and found out about the conspiracy of doctors making women get c-sections so they make more $$ in less time while being unlikely to get sued.  I still believe that there is alot of truth or why else are there so many damning facts about the business. 

I learned in general that

*Your body knows how to give birth, even if you don't think you do
*Natural birth doesn't have to involve horrible pain if you know how to cope with it (laying down and dying and coping are NOT the same)
*Moving alleviates alot of the pain and allows the baby to make it's way down
*Water is very good to help you relax and let the baby come down (hot tub!)
*Why put drugs into a baby you've likely spent your whole pregnancy protecting from drugs?
*That whole breastfeeding bit
*Your odds of getting a C double as soon as you get an epidural.  In some hospitals, that is an even higher risk.  I know many women don't feel the same as me about major surgery but I did not want to become a parent in that kind of pain.  I've had major surgery and I never want to again if possible.  Esp not with a wailing baby in the mix. 

So we found a birth class in the Bradley Method and had a crazy but well-meaning instructor who is really good a misinterpreting statistics.  And she told us that pain relieving drugs used in labor are "cocaine-derivatives" - whatever that means.  And she's wrong.  But we stuck with the theory and prepared.  Then I ended up being 10 days late and Moe needed a boost to get out.  I labored for 15 hours on a crankin' pitocin drip just to get to 4 cm.  I really thought I was going to die.  I knew Pit makes it worse but dayyyyym.  So I caved and got an epidural for a few hours so I could rest. 

Would I do it again?  Even if I knew breastfeeding was out of the question?  Yes.  Absolutely yes.  If I had to get induced, I wouldn't be a hero again since that wasn't very heroic, just painful.  But if I go into a natural labor, I would definitly prefer a natural delivery.  The pain was tolerable as we were taught and if that is what unassisted labor is like, I would not even mind doing it again.  (I'm referring to the part where you get contractions that require your attention to manage them but where you aren't so lost in the sensation that you don't think you can go another moment.  The out of your mind thing is supposed to be the end of stage1 , not the whole damn thing.)  Plus I would think it would be shorter on a subsequent baby.  Mostly at this point, I would forego the epidural just to maintain being able to move.  Pushing would have been a million times easier if I could have gotten into a better position.