This post is for Theme Thursday. This week's theme is 'an acrostic poem' and Theme Thursday was started by & is hosted by Someone Clever!!
Acrostics are those poem thingys that never rhyme unless you tried to hard in school. It's like when you write your name or something vertically and then write stuff that starts with those letters and god, even the instructions sound lame!! So I'm gonna try to do something with that.
Oh yeah, I'm Sara for the record. And I think I'll write about ...dah dah dah!!!
S-soapboxes!! I have a closet full of soapboxes and I love to get going on them....oh yes. But do I have a soapbox that starts with 'S'? Indeed I do! I may have one or even two. Ooops, Seuss wasn't the one I was thinking of. Quite a departure from the safe and silly land of Seuss - SEXUALITY was the one I was thinking of. Not so much the concept but hey, it had to start with 's' right? More like gay rights & not just rights in terms of legal rights but just being treated like a human being. I have my own stake in this but it's more about my friends. No one deserves to live with the threat of bodily harm every time they step outside because of who they love or even just how they feel, dress, and identify. I realize this shouldn't NEED to be said but alas, it DOES need to be said because way too many people are still idiots.
A- 'a child's right to play'! Sounds simple right (yes I know I cheated by starting this with the word 'a' to make it start with 'a'). Children should play right? But academics are being pushed down every year to younger and younger children. We used to go to kindergarten to play, learn to follow school routines, and to get introduced to numbers and letters and maybe read by the end of the year. Now children are at a disadvantage in many areas if they can't read before kindergarten. Many elementary schools have taken out recess to keep kids in the classroom longer and record numbers of young children are put on medications to manage behavior that is age-appropriate. Young children (under age 8) NEED to move their bodies and manipulate toys and learning materials in order to learn. That is just how their brains work. It is akin to child abuse to make children sit in a desk for many hours grinding away on worksheets and then labeling them as disordered if they cannot somehow survive this way. America desperately needs to overhaul its educational system in ways that are developmentally appropriate so that children can maximize their learning each school year rather than barely survive and retain even less of what is presented.
R- race issues - yeah so I'm a bleeding heart. I can't really explain it but I do trace my passions back to childhood. I was very young, perhaps in 2nd grade when I read a children's biography of Martin Luther King, Jr. (He was killed 45 years ago today ya know?) The story told of how little Martin played with the kids near him every day until one day, his friend told him they couldn't be friends anymore because of his skin color. As a child, this truly broke my heart to think someone could have this experience for something so arbitrary as color. I've have a major interest in trying to understand race sociology ever since. At this point, I'm stunned and beyond not knowing what to do in regard to the fact that 1 in 3 black men become incarcerated compared to less than 1% of white men. The justice system is stacked against persons of color and even in schools, youth of color are treated more harshly for infractions that all children make as they learn and become socialized. I'm reading The New Jim Crow in my spare time (yes I read sh*t like that all the time thankyouverymuch) and it's truly sickening. If anyone knows The Answer - please lets make that happen.
A- apostrophes!! Yes, I think about a lot of crazy subjects all at once. Like race relations and apostrophes. It's not easy living inside my head which is why I drink. I try to follow the rules of grammar unless I'm using poetic license which my English teachers always said I didn't get to use. It grates my last nerve to see sales on Peach's and Banana's at the store. Peaches don't own anything! Ditto for the nanners. Use the right version of words (unless you are me!), use your punctuation right. At least try and if you are in over your head (like me & semicolons) try NOT to use that structure. And read this and this.
/rant
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Why did I do a natural birth?
I've been asked this alot....And reminded way to often that there are NO MEDALS for SUFFERING. This is kind of tiresome but I'll make a list to highlight my feelings.
It all started when I was reading about breastfeeding. I'm a bookish nerd. I want to read all about topics over which I have no control (natural birth, breastfeeding, babies in general) and think that therefore I will be prepared to make things work a certain way. This usually backfires but it's my way. I was reading about breastfeeding. And I read that babies who are born to epidural swilling moms are drowsy and can't nurse well and that your milk takes longer to come in which also interferes with getting off to a good nursing start. Says LLL.
My mom did lamaze and despite being crazy and having no pain tolerance in real life (stubbing her toe IS a major medical catastrophe), she did 2 natural births. So I thought about it. I was scared to death but if crazy-lady can do it, why can't I? Plus, I've had period cramps my whole life that have actually made me pass out from the pain on several occasions. So I know I can take alot. I began learning everything I could about natural birth. I watched things like The Business of Being Born and found out about the conspiracy of doctors making women get c-sections so they make more $$ in less time while being unlikely to get sued. I still believe that there is alot of truth or why else are there so many damning facts about the business.
I learned in general that
*Your body knows how to give birth, even if you don't think you do
*Natural birth doesn't have to involve horrible pain if you know how to cope with it (laying down and dying and coping are NOT the same)
*Moving alleviates alot of the pain and allows the baby to make it's way down
*Water is very good to help you relax and let the baby come down (hot tub!)
*Why put drugs into a baby you've likely spent your whole pregnancy protecting from drugs?
*That whole breastfeeding bit
*Your odds of getting a C double as soon as you get an epidural. In some hospitals, that is an even higher risk. I know many women don't feel the same as me about major surgery but I did not want to become a parent in that kind of pain. I've had major surgery and I never want to again if possible. Esp not with a wailing baby in the mix.
So we found a birth class in the Bradley Method and had a crazy but well-meaning instructor who is really good a misinterpreting statistics. And she told us that pain relieving drugs used in labor are "cocaine-derivatives" - whatever that means. And she's wrong. But we stuck with the theory and prepared. Then I ended up being 10 days late and Moe needed a boost to get out. I labored for 15 hours on a crankin' pitocin drip just to get to 4 cm. I really thought I was going to die. I knew Pit makes it worse but dayyyyym. So I caved and got an epidural for a few hours so I could rest.
Would I do it again? Even if I knew breastfeeding was out of the question? Yes. Absolutely yes. If I had to get induced, I wouldn't be a hero again since that wasn't very heroic, just painful. But if I go into a natural labor, I would definitly prefer a natural delivery. The pain was tolerable as we were taught and if that is what unassisted labor is like, I would not even mind doing it again. (I'm referring to the part where you get contractions that require your attention to manage them but where you aren't so lost in the sensation that you don't think you can go another moment. The out of your mind thing is supposed to be the end of stage1 , not the whole damn thing.) Plus I would think it would be shorter on a subsequent baby. Mostly at this point, I would forego the epidural just to maintain being able to move. Pushing would have been a million times easier if I could have gotten into a better position.
It all started when I was reading about breastfeeding. I'm a bookish nerd. I want to read all about topics over which I have no control (natural birth, breastfeeding, babies in general) and think that therefore I will be prepared to make things work a certain way. This usually backfires but it's my way. I was reading about breastfeeding. And I read that babies who are born to epidural swilling moms are drowsy and can't nurse well and that your milk takes longer to come in which also interferes with getting off to a good nursing start. Says LLL.
My mom did lamaze and despite being crazy and having no pain tolerance in real life (stubbing her toe IS a major medical catastrophe), she did 2 natural births. So I thought about it. I was scared to death but if crazy-lady can do it, why can't I? Plus, I've had period cramps my whole life that have actually made me pass out from the pain on several occasions. So I know I can take alot. I began learning everything I could about natural birth. I watched things like The Business of Being Born and found out about the conspiracy of doctors making women get c-sections so they make more $$ in less time while being unlikely to get sued. I still believe that there is alot of truth or why else are there so many damning facts about the business.
I learned in general that
*Your body knows how to give birth, even if you don't think you do
*Natural birth doesn't have to involve horrible pain if you know how to cope with it (laying down and dying and coping are NOT the same)
*Moving alleviates alot of the pain and allows the baby to make it's way down
*Water is very good to help you relax and let the baby come down (hot tub!)
*Why put drugs into a baby you've likely spent your whole pregnancy protecting from drugs?
*That whole breastfeeding bit
*Your odds of getting a C double as soon as you get an epidural. In some hospitals, that is an even higher risk. I know many women don't feel the same as me about major surgery but I did not want to become a parent in that kind of pain. I've had major surgery and I never want to again if possible. Esp not with a wailing baby in the mix.
So we found a birth class in the Bradley Method and had a crazy but well-meaning instructor who is really good a misinterpreting statistics. And she told us that pain relieving drugs used in labor are "cocaine-derivatives" - whatever that means. And she's wrong. But we stuck with the theory and prepared. Then I ended up being 10 days late and Moe needed a boost to get out. I labored for 15 hours on a crankin' pitocin drip just to get to 4 cm. I really thought I was going to die. I knew Pit makes it worse but dayyyyym. So I caved and got an epidural for a few hours so I could rest.
Would I do it again? Even if I knew breastfeeding was out of the question? Yes. Absolutely yes. If I had to get induced, I wouldn't be a hero again since that wasn't very heroic, just painful. But if I go into a natural labor, I would definitly prefer a natural delivery. The pain was tolerable as we were taught and if that is what unassisted labor is like, I would not even mind doing it again. (I'm referring to the part where you get contractions that require your attention to manage them but where you aren't so lost in the sensation that you don't think you can go another moment. The out of your mind thing is supposed to be the end of stage1 , not the whole damn thing.) Plus I would think it would be shorter on a subsequent baby. Mostly at this point, I would forego the epidural just to maintain being able to move. Pushing would have been a million times easier if I could have gotten into a better position.
BFing...and no, it's nothing dirty
This post is part of Theme Thursday with Someone Clever!! And for once, I am posting it on Thursday. The right one. Just a few hours later than press time. Yay me!
****I'm anti-netcronyms and the first time I saw BFing in a forum, I thought it was butt fucking. For real. I was so confused. Why would people boast about this in a preggo forum?? Ooops, I was wrong.
I did breastfeed Moe. It was my plan and everything I did, including my play for a natural birth, were to support my desire to breastfeed. I figured that there are so many books on how hard it is and so much attention on how you shouldn't (can't?) give up too easily that it must be HARD! So why make it harder? I didn't want to risk a c-section which everyone says makes nursing impossible.
I think nothing could have prepared me for the sensation (PAIN) the first time I put Moe on the boob. It wasn't the worst pain ever but it was shocking to say the least. The pain pretty much stopped once she got going and was minor discomfort between feedings. What I didn't bargain for was a medically complicated child. By the end of week 1, Moe was on 30 cal fortified breast milk. That meant pumping & adding formula and other stuff to concentrate the calories. In the long run, I wish I'd trusted my gut and said no to that. It set off alot of problems feeding-wise that we are just starting to get out of. But at the time, she was in heart failure and failing to thrive as a result. It seemed like we HAD to do the medical route.
Back to nursing. I liked it. I didn't get any crazy sexy feelings from it (and I'm GLAD!). I did get the super kick in the butt knock-out. Pretty much within minutes of her latching on, I would get this narcotic like need to sleep. It was impossible to resist but kind of nice. Not so helpful in the NICU but if we'd been in bed together, it would have been a great way to catch up on zzzzs.
Pumping - hurt like a bastard! I HATE the pump. I hated it hated it hated it. I was in no way sad to stop THAT bit. But it worked. I pumped every 3 hours around the clock for 3 months. I went to one 6 hour stretch at night so I could sleep but otherwise, every 3 hours I pumped or nursed or both. It made me have a great supply. I nursed Moe like 2-3 times a day and she got bottles for the rest to give her the extra calories.
We did this for 5 months. The first week I was back to work, Moe quit nursing. She just wouldn't latch any more. I think she got the idea that milk only came from bottles at that point and that was that. This was very upsetting to me but I told myself that she was doing what was right for her and that this wasn't about ME. By this time she also had very bad excema but we'd only been perhaps suggested to have me go dairy free myself. I wasn't really down. It sounds selfish but please, I was doing ALOT already. We were barely sleeping (me & the Database) to keep up with pumping, him washing all my stuff so I could get back to bed, giving Moe her meds, working, & days at the hospital. I NEEDED my cheese. I just did. So when we finally saw a GI dr and they gave us the axe about dairy, I quit. Moe was already done with nursing directly and at this point, I would have had to throw away months worth of frozen milk & start all over while changing my diet. I just couldn't do any more.
We made the decision to go on formula at that point - dairy free yucky Nutramigen. Moe was a trooper and in a few days had accepted the new taste. I was really unhappy and had to get over my own feelings about stopping the breastmilk. Plus the getting rid of the milk supply. My boobs didn't want to quit and it was a painful week or two before the milk was gone. Moms who get to wean slowly probably don't get this. I had to pump less and get all swollen and then only pump a little....it seemed like it would never go away and the whole time I was sad becaue I knew this was all over. But this reminds me of a side effect I was happy to end - the painfully senstive nips. They didn't hurt just existing but if anyone touched them except the baby, it hurt. If I wore my seatbelt, I was awful. I was scared the whole time I was going to die a horrible seatbelt related death because I would wear the belt all weird to keep it off the boobs. I don't know if anyone else had this? Is that normal? I didn't bother to ask.
Now, looking forward, I have some perspective on my own human limits. Would I go through all that again for a hypothetical #2? Yes and no. I want to nurse if I have another. I want it to go "right", the way I wanted this time. Where I nurse the baby and get all the benefit of free milk that is always ready with no bottles to clean. And the nursing knock-out naps! If things get medical again...not sure what I'll do. If there is excema again? We are switching to dairy free ASAP. I don't want to put another kid through discomfort and changing to a new tasting formula once they are already perfectly happy with what they are getting. Could I go dairy free myself for the purpose of breastfeeding? I still don't think so. When I was pregnant with Moe, another mom who had this challenge said you do what you have to do. And I did but not the same as her. We had alot of challenges and I had to pick my battles. I said then I couldn't give up cheese. I'm sticking to that for now. Cheese is my biffle. For life.
****I'm anti-netcronyms and the first time I saw BFing in a forum, I thought it was butt fucking. For real. I was so confused. Why would people boast about this in a preggo forum?? Ooops, I was wrong.
I did breastfeed Moe. It was my plan and everything I did, including my play for a natural birth, were to support my desire to breastfeed. I figured that there are so many books on how hard it is and so much attention on how you shouldn't (can't?) give up too easily that it must be HARD! So why make it harder? I didn't want to risk a c-section which everyone says makes nursing impossible.
I think nothing could have prepared me for the sensation (PAIN) the first time I put Moe on the boob. It wasn't the worst pain ever but it was shocking to say the least. The pain pretty much stopped once she got going and was minor discomfort between feedings. What I didn't bargain for was a medically complicated child. By the end of week 1, Moe was on 30 cal fortified breast milk. That meant pumping & adding formula and other stuff to concentrate the calories. In the long run, I wish I'd trusted my gut and said no to that. It set off alot of problems feeding-wise that we are just starting to get out of. But at the time, she was in heart failure and failing to thrive as a result. It seemed like we HAD to do the medical route.
Back to nursing. I liked it. I didn't get any crazy sexy feelings from it (and I'm GLAD!). I did get the super kick in the butt knock-out. Pretty much within minutes of her latching on, I would get this narcotic like need to sleep. It was impossible to resist but kind of nice. Not so helpful in the NICU but if we'd been in bed together, it would have been a great way to catch up on zzzzs.
Pumping - hurt like a bastard! I HATE the pump. I hated it hated it hated it. I was in no way sad to stop THAT bit. But it worked. I pumped every 3 hours around the clock for 3 months. I went to one 6 hour stretch at night so I could sleep but otherwise, every 3 hours I pumped or nursed or both. It made me have a great supply. I nursed Moe like 2-3 times a day and she got bottles for the rest to give her the extra calories.
We did this for 5 months. The first week I was back to work, Moe quit nursing. She just wouldn't latch any more. I think she got the idea that milk only came from bottles at that point and that was that. This was very upsetting to me but I told myself that she was doing what was right for her and that this wasn't about ME. By this time she also had very bad excema but we'd only been perhaps suggested to have me go dairy free myself. I wasn't really down. It sounds selfish but please, I was doing ALOT already. We were barely sleeping (me & the Database) to keep up with pumping, him washing all my stuff so I could get back to bed, giving Moe her meds, working, & days at the hospital. I NEEDED my cheese. I just did. So when we finally saw a GI dr and they gave us the axe about dairy, I quit. Moe was already done with nursing directly and at this point, I would have had to throw away months worth of frozen milk & start all over while changing my diet. I just couldn't do any more.
We made the decision to go on formula at that point - dairy free yucky Nutramigen. Moe was a trooper and in a few days had accepted the new taste. I was really unhappy and had to get over my own feelings about stopping the breastmilk. Plus the getting rid of the milk supply. My boobs didn't want to quit and it was a painful week or two before the milk was gone. Moms who get to wean slowly probably don't get this. I had to pump less and get all swollen and then only pump a little....it seemed like it would never go away and the whole time I was sad becaue I knew this was all over. But this reminds me of a side effect I was happy to end - the painfully senstive nips. They didn't hurt just existing but if anyone touched them except the baby, it hurt. If I wore my seatbelt, I was awful. I was scared the whole time I was going to die a horrible seatbelt related death because I would wear the belt all weird to keep it off the boobs. I don't know if anyone else had this? Is that normal? I didn't bother to ask.
Now, looking forward, I have some perspective on my own human limits. Would I go through all that again for a hypothetical #2? Yes and no. I want to nurse if I have another. I want it to go "right", the way I wanted this time. Where I nurse the baby and get all the benefit of free milk that is always ready with no bottles to clean. And the nursing knock-out naps! If things get medical again...not sure what I'll do. If there is excema again? We are switching to dairy free ASAP. I don't want to put another kid through discomfort and changing to a new tasting formula once they are already perfectly happy with what they are getting. Could I go dairy free myself for the purpose of breastfeeding? I still don't think so. When I was pregnant with Moe, another mom who had this challenge said you do what you have to do. And I did but not the same as her. We had alot of challenges and I had to pick my battles. I said then I couldn't give up cheese. I'm sticking to that for now. Cheese is my biffle. For life.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
My Barbie-Dream (Redo) Wedding
This is another (late) Theme Thursday installment. Theme Thursday is when lots of other bloggers decide to all write on the same theme. It was started by this chic who is very clever!
My wedding was really generally awesome and I wouldn't mind repeating the entire weekend. I still hear people tell me how much fun they had. The short version? We got married in Maine at a resort about 5 minutes away from our lake cabin. So we had the rehearsal & after party by the lake at our place. It was far enough that most everyone HAD to stay the weekend and the resort is majorly affordable to pretty much everyone and includes breakfast & dinner daily. And the food's not bad.
BUT there are always things that didn't work and that one would redo. And then there are the people who flake after the wedding and pretty much never talk to you again and you wish you could have made a better....well....anyway.
My wedding was really generally awesome and I wouldn't mind repeating the entire weekend. I still hear people tell me how much fun they had. The short version? We got married in Maine at a resort about 5 minutes away from our lake cabin. So we had the rehearsal & after party by the lake at our place. It was far enough that most everyone HAD to stay the weekend and the resort is majorly affordable to pretty much everyone and includes breakfast & dinner daily. And the food's not bad.
BUT there are always things that didn't work and that one would redo. And then there are the people who flake after the wedding and pretty much never talk to you again and you wish you could have made a better....well....anyway.
So I mentioned bridesmaids that flake or something. My maid of honor was / is my BFF so no regrets there. It was a great thing to have her by my side after all these years. Then I had my 2 sisters in law (to be) and family is a pretty safe gamble since you are stuck with them and they are cool chics. Then I picked 2 friends of mine who I love hanging out with. One lives in another state and I don't see her that much but I still love her just as much so no regrets. The other lives on my damn street and I see her like once a year. We hung out like every weekend or every other at one point and though we are both busier with our hubs and all now...we live on the same damn street! Not sure what happened but she just flaked on me after my wedding. Meh.
I would have picked differently and here's one big reason. The bachelor party for my husband (to be) involved alot of $$ spent on intoxicants and great revelry and well, it was a great night in the city. I wanted to go to the city as well and see Blue Man Group, eat a nice dinner, and then get righteously drunk somwhere closer to home (or have a driver or something). That's not what happened. But several gfs later said they would have TOTALLY made that happen.....GAHHH! So my redo will include a f'n kick ass party to end all parties. With a disco trolley!
My wedding shower was a lovely event - no changes except as I requested I WANT TO KNOW WHEN IT IS! It "had" to be a surprise so I wasn't told so I drank 4 bottles of wine (with a friend) the night before - not knowing it was the night before. I was dying DYING! And embarrased.
I would not change the venue or any of that since the overall weekend was one of the best in the history of ME. But I would meet the DJ in person next time to make sure he's not a leprechaun. Because if I'd known he was a leprechaun, I would have chosen a more better guy who was human. And who didn't lie about what he had and who didn't interpret "Bride of Texas Origin" to mean "Bride Who Wants Only Country Music".
OK I know that picture sucks but I didn't really try to take his photo. He was kinda scary. So that's what I would change. Wouldn't change my friends, family, or even my marriage to Mr. Database. He has turned out to be a wonderful husband & father to our Moe. I think I might even skip the wedding redo and just get the disco trolley!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Late Late Late: Moe's Babyfood Rating Scale
This post is part of Theme Thursday, a time when a bunch of other cool bloggers and occasionally ME write about a shared topic. Click the link to the right to see more people's confessions of things they've had in their mouth since becoming a parent.
I have to give credit to Jenn for the suggestion when we were discussing this week's TT topic. And I totally meant to get this done but it didn't happen. I still wanted to write it. Do I TT it? Hmmm
Also, another credit - Moe's buddy Ari came up with this rating scale.
So...weird-things-I've-had-in-my-mouth-since-having-a-child:
The first weird thing, like really really hardly mentionable at all werid. It's still werid to ME but as we parents all know, the moment of birth is f'n as weird as it gets! So when Moe was born and they put her on my chest I was kinda reeling from the shock of acutally having just had a baby. And she was all ooey gooey with g-dknowswhat and I kissed the top of her head. It seems like the right thing to do. I was too shakey and weak to pick her up plus she was still attached to me and I really didn't know if I was allowed to reposition her. I wanted to see her face and tell her hello but couldn't. So I kissed her and got that um, well, never mind...
Baby Food! I swore I'd never taste it (or feed it to my kid) but then it happened. The first experiences with real food were tough for Moe and she wanted nothing to do with it. So I tasted the food to make sure it wasn't some nasty poison flavor and I just didn't know it.
Rice Cereal mixed with 30cal Nutramigen fortified Breast Milk -
Moe said it was TOTAL DIAPERS! I thought it tasted like room temp bland cereal (1 Binkie). Mr. Database was horrified that I tasted it at all.
Peaches
5 Binkies all around! Babyfood peaches are like-woah delicious! No wonder my alien dorm-mate ate them all the time.
Applesauce (homemade)
Moe's & Mom's agree - 5 Binkies!
Applesauce (babyfood)
Moe gave it 3 Binkies. I thought it was like really really watered down made with Red "Delicious" apples or something. It was sterile. Mom says DIAPERS!
Pears
Mom says it's 3 Binkies. Not bad and just like real pears, the grit is somehow appealing. Moe says the grit is just too weird. 2 Binkies.
Peas
DIAPERSDIAPERSPUKEDIAPERS It was that bad. I gave it to Moe. She puked like that chic in the Exorcist. I tasted the peas in the jar. I think I'm really permenently scarred for life. Metallic and awful. Like canned peas.
Peach, Apple, Oatmeal
Yes Please! 5 Binkies!
Kiwi, Spinach, Pear
Ok, so I said I wouldn't give foods that I would never eat in such a combo. Not even sure how this one made the cut. Moe said it was 4 Binkies. I thought it was 3.5. I would eat it except I know what it is and that kinda grosses me out. Poor Moe. She has no idea so she pretty much loved it.
Pumpkin, Apple, Cranberry
4 binkies from Moe. I gave it 1 Binkie. It wasn't terrible to me but was just weird. Think pureed, cold, Campbell's vegetable soup. Something along those lines.
Pear, Carrot, Apricot
3 Binkies from both of us. She ate it without trouble. No particular joy either. It was strangely tasty but once again, I think it's a very odd combo.
Banana
5 Binkies from Moe. Like seriously, could not get enough. So good you can rub it in your hair. This is the only one I didn't even taste. I love bananas IRL but the smell of the jar stuff is nasty. I think it smells like a dumpster behind a deli on a hot summer day.
Orange Banana
Orange you glad you tried it? I thought it just tasted like the regular banana. That I never tasted. Now I'm confused. Anyway, Moe gave it 1 Binkie. In that she didn't puke but she really ate nothing on the occasions we offered this one.
Since we are in the thick of it, this babyfood thing is far from over. I am beyond proud to say that even though our start to Baby-Led Weaning got bonkers derailed, Moe is making strides toward eating real food like a real human because she is in fact, really human.
Real foods she has eaten include cucumbers, carrots (cooked & raw), avocado, clementines, spaghetti noodles, chicken, steak tips, turkey, broccoli rabe, and her latest fav - asparagus. She's had other stuff but I forget what.
So dear readers, I know the burning question is -what's next??? Yet to be tried before we maybe get done with mush are:
Kale, Apple, Mango
Sweet Potato & White Beans
Pear, Apricot, Barley,
Sweet Potato, Corn, & Apple,
Apple, Cinnamon Oatmeal,
Strawberry, Banana
Banana & Blueberries
Each pouch or jar is 2-3 meals for her so it will be a bit longer before I have to decide what I will put in my mouth next.
I have to give credit to Jenn for the suggestion when we were discussing this week's TT topic. And I totally meant to get this done but it didn't happen. I still wanted to write it. Do I TT it? Hmmm
Also, another credit - Moe's buddy Ari came up with this rating scale.
So...weird-things-I've-had-in-my-mouth-since-having-a-child:
The first weird thing, like really really hardly mentionable at all werid. It's still werid to ME but as we parents all know, the moment of birth is f'n as weird as it gets! So when Moe was born and they put her on my chest I was kinda reeling from the shock of acutally having just had a baby. And she was all ooey gooey with g-dknowswhat and I kissed the top of her head. It seems like the right thing to do. I was too shakey and weak to pick her up plus she was still attached to me and I really didn't know if I was allowed to reposition her. I wanted to see her face and tell her hello but couldn't. So I kissed her and got that um, well, never mind...
Baby Food! I swore I'd never taste it (or feed it to my kid) but then it happened. The first experiences with real food were tough for Moe and she wanted nothing to do with it. So I tasted the food to make sure it wasn't some nasty poison flavor and I just didn't know it.
Rice Cereal mixed with 30cal Nutramigen fortified Breast Milk -
Moe said it was TOTAL DIAPERS! I thought it tasted like room temp bland cereal (1 Binkie). Mr. Database was horrified that I tasted it at all.
Peaches
5 Binkies all around! Babyfood peaches are like-woah delicious! No wonder my alien dorm-mate ate them all the time.
Applesauce (homemade)
Moe's & Mom's agree - 5 Binkies!
Applesauce (babyfood)
Moe gave it 3 Binkies. I thought it was like really really watered down made with Red "Delicious" apples or something. It was sterile. Mom says DIAPERS!
Pears
Mom says it's 3 Binkies. Not bad and just like real pears, the grit is somehow appealing. Moe says the grit is just too weird. 2 Binkies.
Peas
DIAPERSDIAPERSPUKEDIAPERS It was that bad. I gave it to Moe. She puked like that chic in the Exorcist. I tasted the peas in the jar. I think I'm really permenently scarred for life. Metallic and awful. Like canned peas.
Peach, Apple, Oatmeal
Yes Please! 5 Binkies!
Kiwi, Spinach, Pear
Ok, so I said I wouldn't give foods that I would never eat in such a combo. Not even sure how this one made the cut. Moe said it was 4 Binkies. I thought it was 3.5. I would eat it except I know what it is and that kinda grosses me out. Poor Moe. She has no idea so she pretty much loved it.
Pumpkin, Apple, Cranberry
4 binkies from Moe. I gave it 1 Binkie. It wasn't terrible to me but was just weird. Think pureed, cold, Campbell's vegetable soup. Something along those lines.
Pear, Carrot, Apricot
3 Binkies from both of us. She ate it without trouble. No particular joy either. It was strangely tasty but once again, I think it's a very odd combo.
Banana
5 Binkies from Moe. Like seriously, could not get enough. So good you can rub it in your hair. This is the only one I didn't even taste. I love bananas IRL but the smell of the jar stuff is nasty. I think it smells like a dumpster behind a deli on a hot summer day.
Orange Banana
Orange you glad you tried it? I thought it just tasted like the regular banana. That I never tasted. Now I'm confused. Anyway, Moe gave it 1 Binkie. In that she didn't puke but she really ate nothing on the occasions we offered this one.
Since we are in the thick of it, this babyfood thing is far from over. I am beyond proud to say that even though our start to Baby-Led Weaning got bonkers derailed, Moe is making strides toward eating real food like a real human because she is in fact, really human.
Real foods she has eaten include cucumbers, carrots (cooked & raw), avocado, clementines, spaghetti noodles, chicken, steak tips, turkey, broccoli rabe, and her latest fav - asparagus. She's had other stuff but I forget what.
So dear readers, I know the burning question is -what's next??? Yet to be tried before we maybe get done with mush are:
Kale, Apple, Mango
Sweet Potato & White Beans
Pear, Apricot, Barley,
Sweet Potato, Corn, & Apple,
Apple, Cinnamon Oatmeal,
Strawberry, Banana
Banana & Blueberries
Each pouch or jar is 2-3 meals for her so it will be a bit longer before I have to decide what I will put in my mouth next.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
The real dirt on me
This is based on the list of questions from a former Theme Thursday post. I didn't have time to do that one in time but here - I finally got to it. I answered all the ones I thought I had a good answer for. Thanks Jenn!
14) What's the worst date you've ever had?
Funny enough - my first date with my husband. And the second. The first date, I really wanted to go eat in the North End (Boston). I had just moved to the area but had loved this Italian neighborhood on previous visits. I got my first paycheck and I wanted to go out for a nice dinner but I had no one to take. So I asked Mr. Database - my then new friendwithbenefits . We went & it was like -200 outside, snowy, and though our reservation was for 8, we stood around for like 2 hours waiting for our table. The management was barely even apologetic. We have never returned to Dolce Vita that place. Dinner was good but Mr. D was sooooo uncomfortable and cranky the whole time. Turns out, he'd never had a woman pay for him and he was not sure how to cope. So dinner was awkward and it was just not good. To make up for it, Mr. D wanted to take me out on him. So he had tickets for Phantom of the Opera. omgphantom!!! I was pretty much pissing myself with excitement. The big day comes, we get dressed up, and head to the car. He looks at the tickets, just to make sure of the time & venue. And it was yesterday. We missed it. I actually cried. I felt so bad and like a baby but I couldn't stop crying. So he felt like the worst dude in history. And yes, we somehow got to date 3 - The Charm they say. And well, the rest is history.
Blacking out in front of my new mother-in-law. No- not AT the wedding but like 2 months after I married her darling son. We were all up at our place in Maine & it was HOT as HADES! Mr. Database & I had gotten a bottle of Rumple Minze to drink on ice. Well I was really thirsty and as I said - it was HOT!! So I kept refilling my glass whilst hanging with the fam at the kitchen table. Next thing I know, I wake up in the dark in the bathroom and every is asleep (thank g-d!). But how did I get there??? When did I go to bed??? Did someone put me to bed? After surviving the worst hangover of my life - I asked these questions. It was very embarrasing but apparently I was fine, just talked like normal and then said I was tired and I went to bed. Guess what I have never done again?1) What's worst drunken episode of adult life?
The gayest thing I'm gay for is women. Enough said.2) What's the dorkiest thing you're gay for?
I am dealthy afraid of snakes. I'm not afraid they will bite me or poison me specifically. I'm afraid they will breathe at me. Or look at me. Or just exist in a real-life type way. Also, have you read this? Pretty irrational stuff.4) Do you have any irrational fears and what are they?
Because I talk to much.5) Why do you blog?
For fun? Flying. Obviously! For real-skis? Healing touch because I know too many kids who need it!6) If you could have a super power (x-ray vision, invisibility, etc) what would it be and why?
Maybe Cyprus. It was an amazingly beautiful country and we met very nice people. Either there or Italy. For the art, the food, & the wine.8) If you could retire anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
14) What's the worst date you've ever had?
Funny enough - my first date with my husband. And the second. The first date, I really wanted to go eat in the North End (Boston). I had just moved to the area but had loved this Italian neighborhood on previous visits. I got my first paycheck and I wanted to go out for a nice dinner but I had no one to take. So I asked Mr. Database - my then new friend
Insert boring - standard - highschool era action. Nothing special - it wasn't in a phone booth or with Brad Pitt or anything.15) How I lost my virginity.
Yes. I wish I could apologize to That Person for my previous behavior that was all I could have done at the time but that caused alot of pain. I wasn't ready for a healthy relationship. I totally lacked the tools and I was still figuring out how to commit to a healthy life - as in wtf does that even look like? He got dragged through alot, just waiting and hoping and it burned him alive. I don't think that was my fault but I'm still sorry.17) Is there someone you wish you could apologize to?
Murder because rapists deserve to die.19) If you could commit a crime, and absolutely get away with it, what would you commit and why?
Coming through a really messed up childhood & surviving. Turning my life around and making something of it. Breaking the cycle and getting out. I'm proud of the work I have done to have come so very far.23) If you could be a contestant on a game show, which one would it be?The Price is Right!25) What's one accomplishment in life you are the most proud of?
Thursday, November 15, 2012
What Mr. Database is Thankful For
Mr. Database (my husband) wrote this recently and after many requests, I am reposting it here. He may guest write from time to time.
This year has changed my perspective on life - a LOT. In all the usual ways that having a child changes your perspective on life, but additionally in the ways that having a child born with health issues does as well. In the blink of an eye, my wife and I discovered that the pregnancy we thought up until literally the very last moments was going perfectly, can go very sour and you can be left with a whole new set of worries that you never even considered.
As the past several years have gone by, and my life has become more about how it involves someone else (Sara) than it does just me, I have found my views on life and politics changing gradually. My once selfishly motivated desire to see a world in which I wasn't forced to give anything up without wanting to, became one where I could see firsthand the value in mandatory giving via taxation. (And let's be crystal clear - since 2/3 of the federal budget goes to medicare, social security, and medicaid, that is exactly what taxation is. I still have a problem with the amount that goes to unrighteous wars, but I know that most of my money is doing good, and I am happy for that.)
When Moe came, and we found out about her heart when she was 6 days old, that worldview was shattered in an instant, rather than continuing it's gradual decline. Completely and utterly annihilated by the reality of the situation I found our little family in. Having been lucky enough to live in a state that was rich enough to enact the health care reform that it did, I knew that I would not have to go through the same nightmare that my parents did of having my daughter cut off by her insurer for using too many benefits. For someone facing a life that might include a heart transplant and anti rejection drugs that would cost literally millions of dollars, this was a very, very good feeling to have. It dawned on me that watching this same kind of reform being pushed and tested in the national stage was the single most important issue I could possibly think of in my life. Having met so many parents through the groups that Sara and I joined who were going through even worse situations than we were, I realized that all I wanted was for every parent to have the same feeling of security that we did, knowing that no matter what happened to them, their children were going to get the care they needed and deserved.
I am very happy and thankful today, knowing that the hard fight that was put forth to give parents that security will stand. Regardless of any other issues or any other history that was made in the last 4 years, nothing means more to me than that. Parents who I now care about, parents with three month old babies who received new hearts, parents with babies who have had half a dozen cardiac surgeries before they were a year old, parents that sit wringing their hands watching their childs life hang in the balance of the incredibly talented medical professionals that care for them, they can know that their kids will continue to receive the care they need and deserve. Nobody can cut them off, nobody can tell them that anti rejection drugs cost too much, nobody can tell them that their 6 month lapse in coverage means they are on their own when it comes to their poor little broken hearts. I don't care what cost it comes at - right is right, and this is right. I am thankful for every one of the Americans who believes that this is the right thing to do, and for the incredible gift they have bestowed upon my family and countless others.
I am incredibly thankful for the family I have, the friends I have (old and new) and their support this year. Having parents who have been through the ringer with critically ill children, and knew exactly what to say to me when I was feeling at my lowest.
I am incredibly thankful for the wonderful care team that Moe has at Boston Childrens Hospital, and I feel incredibly lucky to be so close to such a talented and dedicated group of people, who have been supportive, responsive, and compassionate. It is impossible for me to overstate how wonderful it feels knowing that she has and will continue to receive the very best care available on earth. We are lucky beyond belief for that.
I am thankful every time I see one of these new friends post on an email list, message board, or facebook that their child has received the organ they needed, while simultaneously being heartbroken for the family who, in their greatest moment of tragedy, saw fit to bestow the gift of life upon a child they did not know, had never met, and had never considered in their lives before someone asked them "Will you donate your childs organs?" I urge in the strongest possible terms, any of my friends who are parents to take a moment to have this admittedly morbid conversation with your spouse about your feelings on the matter. Most people never take the time to have this conversation, because they never think it will ever come up - time is of the essence in the situation of organ donation, and having just gone over an emotional cliff is not the time to discuss it. I urge you for the sake of every family who is out there praying every night for a match, to have that conversation and be that giver of the greatest gift possible.
In darker thoughts, the inner challenge I faced reconciling the beliefs that were instilled in me growing up has gotten worse. I make no secrets of my thoughts on religion, god, and such spiritual matters. I was raised a Catholic, and I was taught my entire childhood in Church and Catechism classes about a loving and caring father figure who watched out for his children. I found this very hard to reconcile with the reality of the life my sister faced, and even more so now. I slip back and forth on an almost daily basis between being angry at a God who I perceive to either be letting these things happen to the littlest of lambs in his flock, or actively causing them to happen, and being apathetic about whether this proves that he is not real in the first place. I simply cannot find the place in myself to reconcile heaping praise on a deity that allows or causes so much grief to be delivered to so many families. Some people find new strength to their faith in this situation, and I simply cannot be one of them. This I am not thankful for in the least.
This has been a challenging year emotionally for me, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that my heart has grown more sizes than the grinches because of it. To borrow a phrase from one of the parents that I have met on this journey, who in turn borrowed it from a parent they met on this journey, my life has become big and wide because of this. To further it, my mind, my heart, and my love have become big and wide. There is no going back.
This year has changed my perspective on life - a LOT. In all the usual ways that having a child changes your perspective on life, but additionally in the ways that having a child born with health issues does as well. In the blink of an eye, my wife and I discovered that the pregnancy we thought up until literally the very last moments was going perfectly, can go very sour and you can be left with a whole new set of worries that you never even considered.
As the past several years have gone by, and my life has become more about how it involves someone else (Sara) than it does just me, I have found my views on life and politics changing gradually. My once selfishly motivated desire to see a world in which I wasn't forced to give anything up without wanting to, became one where I could see firsthand the value in mandatory giving via taxation. (And let's be crystal clear - since 2/3 of the federal budget goes to medicare, social security, and medicaid, that is exactly what taxation is. I still have a problem with the amount that goes to unrighteous wars, but I know that most of my money is doing good, and I am happy for that.)
When Moe came, and we found out about her heart when she was 6 days old, that worldview was shattered in an instant, rather than continuing it's gradual decline. Completely and utterly annihilated by the reality of the situation I found our little family in. Having been lucky enough to live in a state that was rich enough to enact the health care reform that it did, I knew that I would not have to go through the same nightmare that my parents did of having my daughter cut off by her insurer for using too many benefits. For someone facing a life that might include a heart transplant and anti rejection drugs that would cost literally millions of dollars, this was a very, very good feeling to have. It dawned on me that watching this same kind of reform being pushed and tested in the national stage was the single most important issue I could possibly think of in my life. Having met so many parents through the groups that Sara and I joined who were going through even worse situations than we were, I realized that all I wanted was for every parent to have the same feeling of security that we did, knowing that no matter what happened to them, their children were going to get the care they needed and deserved.
I am very happy and thankful today, knowing that the hard fight that was put forth to give parents that security will stand. Regardless of any other issues or any other history that was made in the last 4 years, nothing means more to me than that. Parents who I now care about, parents with three month old babies who received new hearts, parents with babies who have had half a dozen cardiac surgeries before they were a year old, parents that sit wringing their hands watching their childs life hang in the balance of the incredibly talented medical professionals that care for them, they can know that their kids will continue to receive the care they need and deserve. Nobody can cut them off, nobody can tell them that anti rejection drugs cost too much, nobody can tell them that their 6 month lapse in coverage means they are on their own when it comes to their poor little broken hearts. I don't care what cost it comes at - right is right, and this is right. I am thankful for every one of the Americans who believes that this is the right thing to do, and for the incredible gift they have bestowed upon my family and countless others.
I am incredibly thankful for the family I have, the friends I have (old and new) and their support this year. Having parents who have been through the ringer with critically ill children, and knew exactly what to say to me when I was feeling at my lowest.
I am incredibly thankful for the wonderful care team that Moe has at Boston Childrens Hospital, and I feel incredibly lucky to be so close to such a talented and dedicated group of people, who have been supportive, responsive, and compassionate. It is impossible for me to overstate how wonderful it feels knowing that she has and will continue to receive the very best care available on earth. We are lucky beyond belief for that.
I am thankful every time I see one of these new friends post on an email list, message board, or facebook that their child has received the organ they needed, while simultaneously being heartbroken for the family who, in their greatest moment of tragedy, saw fit to bestow the gift of life upon a child they did not know, had never met, and had never considered in their lives before someone asked them "Will you donate your childs organs?" I urge in the strongest possible terms, any of my friends who are parents to take a moment to have this admittedly morbid conversation with your spouse about your feelings on the matter. Most people never take the time to have this conversation, because they never think it will ever come up - time is of the essence in the situation of organ donation, and having just gone over an emotional cliff is not the time to discuss it. I urge you for the sake of every family who is out there praying every night for a match, to have that conversation and be that giver of the greatest gift possible.
In darker thoughts, the inner challenge I faced reconciling the beliefs that were instilled in me growing up has gotten worse. I make no secrets of my thoughts on religion, god, and such spiritual matters. I was raised a Catholic, and I was taught my entire childhood in Church and Catechism classes about a loving and caring father figure who watched out for his children. I found this very hard to reconcile with the reality of the life my sister faced, and even more so now. I slip back and forth on an almost daily basis between being angry at a God who I perceive to either be letting these things happen to the littlest of lambs in his flock, or actively causing them to happen, and being apathetic about whether this proves that he is not real in the first place. I simply cannot find the place in myself to reconcile heaping praise on a deity that allows or causes so much grief to be delivered to so many families. Some people find new strength to their faith in this situation, and I simply cannot be one of them. This I am not thankful for in the least.
This has been a challenging year emotionally for me, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that my heart has grown more sizes than the grinches because of it. To borrow a phrase from one of the parents that I have met on this journey, who in turn borrowed it from a parent they met on this journey, my life has become big and wide because of this. To further it, my mind, my heart, and my love have become big and wide. There is no going back.
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